Sunday, October 18, 2009

Happy Birthday!


Let me write about inspiration; let me write about someone that means everything to me. This person has impacted my life in the best way possible. His birthday happens to be tomorrow and he would be 54 this year. Who is this person that I’m talking about? None other than my Dad. That’s right, gotta write about Pops.

It was Monday, July 14th, 2008. It was very early in the morning when I saw the last breaths escape my father. I felt as if time stood still and nothing else existed but the people that were in the room. I have a picture in my mind of these moments that will never leave. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that I had just lost my father. This was the guy that I would come home to and find watching TV on the puffy chair downstairs. More times than not, on Friday he would be watching a recently rented movie and even if I didn’t have an interest in seeing the movie, he would always persuade me to watch it. His personality drew me toward him. He always enjoyed coming home at the end of the week and having a cold beer. Who doesn’t?

Not many people know the journey that led him to his last days on this earth. I remember the day I found out that he had cancer. He and I shared a hug that will never be forgotten. We stood in the basement of my house and I honestly cried like a baby. I had no idea what the coming days would be like and there was nothing here within human existence that could prepare me for what was about to come.

I remember going to Columbia the Thursday that everything had become clear. They sent him to Columbia for some tests and eventually came to the conclusion that he needed surgery. My Dad was like the Spartan king Leonidas, fearless. I know he must have had a storm of emotion brewing beneath the surface but to everyone else nothing came close to phasing him.

He was diagnosed with glioblastoma. This is one of the most aggressive cancers that can fall upon anyone. He would have to undergo surgery to remove the tumor and I can’t remember him being afraid of it. He became the most positive person on the planet. He just knew he was going to beat this thing. There was nothing on this earth that was going to take him away. It was almost like he said “Fuck You Cancer, I’m gonna stick around for a while.”

The first surgery was nothing short of extremely nerve-racking. My mom and I were surrounded by family so that made it a little easier. Everything went as planned but in our hearts we knew that it would come back. I tried to slip into a phase of denial by saying that it was all over, that he had conquered this enemy. He came out very well, he was resilient. This was the first time that I had ever seen my Dad with no hair so I was sort of taken aback. He did, however, pull this look off. He and I immediately agreed on him growing a goatee. You’ve got to admit, a goatee with no hair looks badass. He finally grew one and it didn’t look too shabby. He and my mom took a picture together and it has to be one of the best they have ever taken; it was beautiful, you could just tell they were so in love.

Well after a couple of months of chemo the cancer decided to rear its ugly head again. This meant my Dad would have to have a second surgery or just let nature take its course. A very tough decision lay ahead. We all agreed that that the second surgery would probably be the best because it would most likely give him a longer stint here on earth. The day before his second surgery he and I went to get breakfast at Hy-Vee. That’s kind of an unknown tradition between him and me. That night I remember we sat on the couch upstairs and talked about his impending surgery. Again, we shared a hug and cried together. The next day we made our way to Columbia for surgery. He was still the fearless old man I knew, being wheeled back into surgery.

A short time after this surgery he began to have difficulties so he had to be readmitted to the hospital. In this time he had suffered from a stroke and developed a staff infection. His personality took on that of a young child while still retaining parts of his adult self. After a period in the Hospital he was sent home with my mom and me. My mother was a complete saint for his remaining time with us. She took care of him day in and day out. I tried to do my part but nothing can compare to everything she did. If I could, I would go back and spend every waking moment with him. I wish I would have recorded him on video so I could just have something to remember him by.

I cannot believe the positive attitude that came from him the last few months that he was with us. These months are what inspired me to be a different person. I now believe whole-heartedly that everyday is a gift that should be appreciated. Anyone that came into the house was immediately affected by him. He could always put a smile on a face. It was almost instant. How can somebody in so much pain display such a positive attitude? This was such a hard concept to grasp. It’s still hard to get a grip on today.

He was truly a gift from God, an inspiration to everyone that knew him. He taught us how to love each other and let go of all the petty differences. Perhaps his disease was a blessing in disguise. It is very unfortunate that such a great person had to perish so that we could learn the value of life, love and friendship. It is an honor and a privilege to say that this man was my father. I miss him every single day and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. Thank you Dad for everything that you have taught me; I will never forget it. Happy Birthday!

1 comment:

  1. Your father was a great man, and he was a big part of my childhood. I remember the days in elementary school when I would go to your house and see him all the time. I had much love, respect and admiration for him (and Cindy of course!!!). He fostered a wonderful environment for you to grow up in, and that was something I realized even at an early age. His loving discipline and care for us really kept us in line! I will never forget him and what he has done.

    Much love goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry to hear this happened, and even more sorry in my tardiness of hearing that it did.

    I wish you the best in your future Adam and much success!!!

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